Blog 32: Why Must Life Keep Getting MORE Complicated -_-

Tittle explains all....

So the day I hung out with Matt, which btw was a good visit ^^, my brain started functioning again and I realized I may of had a certain predicament on my hands... turns out... I do! Joy... -_- Which actually... my sarcasm bugs me with this topic. Cause my problem is really a wonderful thing. It makes me very happy =] but the situation and timing scares/stresses me out beyond belief. Especially with certain friends and family members. In a way though... I most likely deserve the treatment I may receive from it, though I really don't want it. I was playing with fire and I got burnt. That's that. Again... I'm actually excited, however most people would call it a HUGE mistake. I for one don't see it as one. Playing with fire as I said before, yes, but I will never regret it or call it a mistake. EVER. My life will never be what I fore saw it... kind of sort of... and there are things I may have to give up because of it, but still... in my mind it's all worth it. Only a couple people know about it right now... I want to tell everyone. Hell... broadcast it to the world. ^^ I'm scared too though... plus I can't. Things would go to crap if I did. -_- I do want to at least tell my friends though... but I'm worried they won't want to be there anymore. And forever will my name be mud. lol. To be honest... most the people I know if I told them and decided never to talk to me again I would be ok with it. I would also not care what they thought of me. There are a couple of people that concern me though. Also... I can't have rumors going around... that's also why I've been so secretive and not telling everyone and their Aunt Berta about it. I guess I shouldn't worry to much. Even if I wait they will decide to be friends with me or not. Their answer won't change. Might as well get it over with. lol. Man... I wish I didn't feel so insecure about myself right now. I hate it. I truly do. I haven't been like this since I was 13... and I vowed never to be again... and now here I am again. Ha... I guess people really don't change. *sigh*
I pray that things will be ok within the next year especially... but for the rest of my life too. lol.
Chibisukie signing out!